November 2010 is the worst month ever !
One day, i found a boy very handsome! He look so shame but cute, he made my life so great in every single day. I never felt like this before, I never felt my heart beat so fasted and I've been shamed if I saw him. I was question myself "What Happen to me god? it feels so crazy !" and not long I realized that I love him and he was my first love ^_^
If I say his name, I think some people near me know him. His name is R and A, hahaha spell his name is my was job when the first time I love him R-E-Z-A A-Z-H-A-R-A that his full name. And my friend gave me a unique named for call his named was DoReMi, hahaha! Everyday was a wonderful day moreover if I met him. But, one day because of time I must move from my old house to my new house in Bandung. So, i must leave the boy i love the most and I didn't know how I could met him again. I thought only time would be answer this.
I was very sad...I never told that i love to him, how could i said that? If he never know me or my name. It was so hard to say goodbye. But. I will remember him and keep him in my head and my deepen heart. And I will still remember that November 2005 is the begun of my love life :)
2 years letter, I wasn't felt like november 2005 but i really sad about love. Because my target had a girlfriend! But, it was so weird i thought about Doremi, hahaha...not long after i remember him in my head again he sent me a text shot massage in my phone! wohoooooo! i was very happy!! :) and that's the begun of love for me again! in 11th february 2008 he asked me to be his girlfriend! yooohooo,,,,my dream come true!!!! :D
It was amazing! I've been 2 years with my first love even though the distance separate us. Happy, sad, lough we share each other. And November 2010 ,maybe he was bored with me until love someone behind me. It was so sad and hurt! He made me pained it was really pained i can't handled myself for cried, this tears run down like razorblades because i can't hold back my pained :( When I knew about the girl that my boyfriend loved, my Heart feel so scratch like blade scratch my heart! Like stone fight my face! Like finger to claw all my of my body! It was really pained. The girl is so beautiful more beautiful than me. Maybe that's why he loved her. :(
Everyday I pray to the God and i hope God would answered my pray. I really hope that he love me again like the first time he loved me and i want he forget the girl that made us separated. I know, it's not her fault but I really disappointed with them, they're jerks! They're a LIAR! a WILD LIAR! at the past i thought if i have 7 things that i hate to him i would said that I hate his vain me, I hate his games, he was insecure, he Love me, he loved her, his friends are jerks, and the 7th thing i hate the most that he was do is he made me love him! yes, that's what i though when i know him like that on the past!I love him in November but the end in November too :( .
But I don't know why, why i still love him? even though he have made me pained, why i can still forgive him? even though he love someone better me and why i have to wait him until he asked love again to me? even though I didn't know what time,what day,what,date,what year he would asked it. It was so stupid! I love a boy who never love me again and he leave me when i really love him and i know the particular of himself and the important is he was my first love! Why???
And I realized that i really love him, my heart can go without him, he is the one in my deepen heart! he is the one in my head. So, i still wait him until he will asked me about love again. And Now, God have answered my pray, Reza came back to me again and he so.........different than before! He is so nice, so faith, so understanding me, always make me happy! That's Reza what I really want, he keep his faith for me, he keep friendship for me when i broke with him. I was fault angry with him when i break up. I though that he never love me again,but it was wrong! He still love me even it was a little, i thought that he never won't accompany me again and it was wrong too! He still accompany me, he still to be my bestfriend, even in his heart he was love me and Diyan. Maybe he ever asked love to the girl, but the girl refused him. And then he asked love to me and i said "yes" do you think it was hurt? until the girl refuse him, and i said yes..i think it's not hurt for me! It is my chance so i won't let my chance go around.I won't let my love go away again.
Reza, I'm so sorry that i ever have bad opinion about you, that was when my eyes closed but now i can open my eyes and realize that thing. When we are break up that was a good teacher in my life who teach me about how important of love with respectability, believe each other, understanding,faithful and communication.And now, i don't want you lose from me again, i want you to be mine in my whole life. Eventhough i know that "SHE" love you again, but please...keep our love till the end of time and still to be a faithful person for me. Our love will never end honey, because we can't escape each other. Cause you always be my honey :*
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